when the date has you listening to "it's only sex" by car seat headrest
if you aren't familiar, the song is basically like... "why don't i want to have sex with you?? i like you so much?? what is going on??" and to be fair i just met this person and i don't like him so much. however. i suppose the song helps me contemplate feeling like i "should" want something that, inexplicably, i don't. and also being like, "hey body, what's up?"
i wish my body had a newsletter where it filled me in on all the happenings. a bajillion new cells were made because you got a little papercut! we're handling it fine though! also, this pain is very bad you should sit down now! also, here's what we want to eat!
i dunno. it's raining here and it's starting to cool off this week. i'm very excited to wear my sweaters. i think i like the idea of dating until i actually do it and then i feel the weight of every dating norm. there's this idea of the "relationship escalator" where things are supposed to progress a certain way in a certain time period in romantic/sexual relationships. i keep trying to get off and then i look around and i'm on it again. or i'm on the stairs but the person i thought i was with jumped over the barrier and is cruising up and holding my hand.
i know it seems like i'm not doing so great but in truth this is a small dip in an otherwise positive experience! ah well. silver linings and whatnot.
in other news, you can subscribe to my blog now. i think...